Life Isn’t Fair Because God Is Not The Referee

Life isn’t fair. All of humanity knows this on some level, but we frequently are flattened by the number of times we relearn this from experience. We believe and want life to be fair and give great effort trying to make it fair. Despite always returning to the same conclusion in some of our more frustrating moments, we yearn for fairness. Continual denial of fairness often leads to frustration, bitterness, and in some cases, hopelessness. Fairness likely has never been achieved. What do we actually mean when we say, “life isn’t fair”? Is it worth trying to make life fair? And lastly, the question most believers and non-believers ask, why doesn’t God make things fair? All this will be answered. But to answer this, we must move into an analogy to better understand. 

Basketball also isn’t fair. All players know this on some level but are frequently flabbergasted by the number of times they experience unfairness during a game. Players try their hardest to gain the advantage and win, sometimes that leads to rule violations. Players mostly violate the rules by accident. Unintentional fouls, or violations occur in the intense exchange of competition. Other times, a player blatantly tries to cheat and gain the advantage in an unfair way. Referees are designed to be the unbiased judges of the game. They stop play when a violation of the rules occurs. The expectation is that they will be completely fair and make the right calls at the right time. The reality is different. Despite most referees giving an honest effort to that expectation, there are numerous calls each game that seem unfair, they miss a number of calls they should have made, they misjudge a situation and make a wrong call, and in some cases, outright cheat to help one team win (this is very rare but still happens).

Besides the players and the referees, there are the coaches. It is the job of the coach to instruct his team, organise their efforts, unify their purpose, encourage his players, and do all he can to help his team win and players succeed. He can do a lot to help, but ultimately, he cannot play for the players. He must remain an observer from the sideline. More often than not, a good team will head the counsel of their coach, whereas a poorly functioning team will ignore, or outright rebel against their coach.

So if fairness in life is like a game of basketball, who are you and who is God? Obviously you are the player; making decisions and dealing with the consequences of all decisions made on the court by yourself and all other players. That means God is the referee, making the calls to keep the game fair right? Actually, no. God is not the referee. Sure He will be the judge in the end of times and will make all the calls, but that is not yet, and that is not His role right now. No, God is not the referee, God is the coach. Like a coach, He is fully invested in helping us win. He gives all His effort to see us improve and reach our potential. His goal is the point around which we and our teammates unify our efforts. He expects us to practice and improve. Even with all this help, He cannot play for us; He can only sit on the sidelines and speak to us. On top of that He cannot intervene on our behalf or make the game more fair - yet. During the game, and during this life, His goal is not to make things fair, it is to allow us to play our best. 

This means that our referee is not a perfect God. The referee is at best our institutions dedicated to society, justice, law, and fairness. Because these institutions are created and headed by us - imperfect beings - fairness is almost never achieved and “life isn’t fair” prevails. Thus is the condition of mortality at this time and our stage of progression. There will come a time that God will judge all things with perfect justice, mercy, and fairness. But for now, He is our coach, the one giving advice and counsel. He is cheering us on and is as close to the game as He can get without cheating. Ultimately it is for us to play the game, and with Him as our coach we will do very well - if we listen and obey.

While I look forward to the day when God makes all things right, for now, I’m grateful that He is my coach. It helps me stop blaming Him for every foul that is committed and for every call that was missed. It also motivates me to become my best, because I have the best Coach.